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Motherhood Is a Personal Choice: My Reasons for Choosing Not to Be a Mom !

I believe that Motherhood is a personal choice and not a biological obligation. When I was 25 I decided that I don’t want to be a mom. It was a matter of priorities with practicality. I wanted to have a good career and simply couldn’t find fit to be in the motherhood big size shoes. Being a mother is not just about conceiving and giving delivery, it is a complete lifestyle, full of nutrition charts, special cares & parenting books and a host of other things I don’t understand and most certainly never will in future. 

3 Years ago when I decided that I do not want to be a mother and this is a rock solid decision, some of the closest friends and relatives around me wondered if that could be changed with time. Some said that I might change the decision with time when my biological clock would kick in and its instincts would take over. Well, this is a part of a human biological cycle but doesn’t mean that I should become a mother to complete it. It’s my body and I have every right to take the final call. Some said that when I will fall in love and will create something together then I might change the decision. Yes, I did fall in love and we did create some wonderful things like we created a shelter for pets, planted trees into a nearby garden and working on building a sweet little heaven for each other. 

Here I am, around in my 30s and dead sure that I do not want to have babies. It’s like I do not like babies. I have a niece, who I adore. I am a pet mama, and was, until recently, a dog mama. But I’m not just maternal. I’m also determined, imaginative, and unpredictable and a bunch of other things I’m still trying to sort out.

I want to nurture the parts of myself that want to pull in ten hour work shifts, sharpen my skills, cook more delicious food, party till morning on weekends, or just stay in nursing a glass of coffee, read till dawn, pack my bags and head to the beach for a weekdays … and wash my own clothes (And I have a lot of them!)

No, I am not selfish.

I don’t believe I will make a good mother. Not because I can’t, but because I do not want to be and always found myself away from the motherhood feeling & Connection. If I don’t spend a leisurely hour or two every morning drinking my coffee and doing Yoga, I go through the entire day distracted, clumsy and thinking about exercising. The motherhood bug is just not in me and I’m tired of being judged for it because people perceive I’m “lacking something” for not having it. 

Motherhood is a totally personal choice and not a biological obligation. It isn’t a woman’s destiny or sole purpose here in the world. There are other wonderful things women should do rather than just delivering babies every 9 months.  Just because a woman can bear a child, doesn’t mean that she must. I have great respect for mothers. I consider mother— my mother included — brave and selfless persons on the face of the earth. I consider making my own choices, especially against such rampant opposition and blatant judgment on someone’s choice, a sign of strength as well. Most importantly, there is no must do’s & don’ts here. It’s simply a matter of what would be more accomplishing & satisfying for you.

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